Category Archives: Silly and Fun

He’s 1, she’s 4 and Dad caught a real Man Cold

The Girl turns 4 today. A month ago, The Boy turned one. In between there was the month of December where Mom headed back to work after her 1 year mat leave and I (temporarily) stepped off the work track and climbed back in the SAHDle again.

It was only for a month, but I was looking forward to it with great anticipation. Too bad I didn’t follow my own rules, especially #1 – Lower Expectations.

The plan was supposed to be to not only spend time with the kids, but also begin acclimatizing The Boy to daycare in preparation for the new year when both my wife and I would be back at work. Along the way, The Girl was going to continue her 3 days a week routine at her preschool. It all looked good on paper, as they say. A few days a week with both the kids, a couple days with just The Boy and me and, depending on how the transition to daycare went, perhaps even a few days to myself in there.

Oh, how much I would get done! Imagine – having a full day to yourself? Oh the wonderful things that could be accomplished. Why, I could design a rocket ship, create a new high yielding crop that would triple the amount of food farmers could get off their land, and maybe even cure a horrible disease. And then after lunch I could paint the living room, watch the entire first season of the BBC’s version of The Office and catch up on all those 2006 World Cup soccer matches I recorded but never got around to watching.

Yes, I had plans. However, the plan I needed the most was a contingency plan. Three days into my month long “vacation” The Girl came down with the flu. She was out of action for a week. Meanwhile, The Boy and daycare was proving to be more difficult than I had imagined. I ended up spending hours with him at the center, trying to get him used to the new routine.

And then, (no doubt helped along by getting puked on by The Girl at 2 am one night) it was my turn. Now this wasn’t a normal flu…this was a full blown Man Cold.

The good news was that we were all fine by the time Christmas rolled around and had a great last week before we headed into our new routine with 2 working parents and kids in daycare.

So, while December didn’t turn out quite like I expected, I am grateful that we have managed to juggle everyones schedules enough so that the kids are in care only 3 days a week, thanks to some great bosses, creative scheduling and a very helpful daycare & preschool. Sure, Mom and I have wonky work weeks, but if it means that the kids get to spend more time with their parents then so be it. For them they have “Mommy days” where Mom is at home and Dad is at work, “Daddy days” where I am at home and she is at work and days at daycare. The downside to the working family schedule is that we only get one day a week (Sundays) where we are all together as a family. But for now, it’ll do.

Kids say the craziest things…turns out, parents do as well

Only a Parent

We all know what comes tumbling out of a kids mouth is gut busting. But what is often just as funny is the stuff that comes tumbling out of OUR mouths in response to what our kids are doing. That is the premise of Only a Parent, a website where you can submit those crazy things that we all hear ourselves saying, but if we really stop and think about it, sound absolutely ridiculous. The owner of the site then creates a custom illustration for the quote, giving all of us parents a fine chuckle.

The site relies on submissions from parents, so if you have ever heard yourself saying something that doesn’t sound quite right when removed from the context you said it in, send ‘er in.

Moving from 2 to 3 kids requires a change in strategy

No, it’s not us planning a third. I ran into a friend on the weekend who has just gone from 2 to 3 kids. When I asked him how it was he came back with a great sports metaphor. “It’s like basketball,’ he said. “We’ve moved from man to man to zone coverage.”

How to survive a zombie attack

Watch out for those pesky flaming zombies.

Happy Halloween! (and thanks Alec for the lead).

That’s mighty cute giardia

giardia from Warehouse 23And then there is Warehouse 23. If you’ve got a bit of a bent sense of humor, check out their selection of stuffies. I quite like their germ section. Nothing like snuggling up with giardia (left), mad cow disease or a stomach ache, although cuddling up with a KISS doll might be pretty cool, too. Not to mention a Monty Python classic: the Black Beast of Aaaarrrggghhhh from “In Search of the Holy Grail”. Your kids probably won’t be getting these from Grandma this Christmas.

Let Milo open the door

This clip reminds me of a story about my (then 4 year old) niece who misheard the lyrics to that classic rock war horse “Takin’ Care of Business” by BTO and belted out “thank you for the biscuits!”

Here is the story behind the clip, but in a nutshell their cat is named Milo.

Father’s patience, 3, dies in Manhattan

MetroDad makes me howl, and his new post, Obits of 2007 is no exception. It is, indeed, a sad day when the afternoon naps disappear.

Now, when will that damn Delilah song be added to that list?

Cultivating a sense of humor in your kids

BabyCentre has just posted a great article called How to raise a fun and funny child. One of the points of the article that struck me harkens back to that very basic nature/nurture theory. Can humor be taught, or is it inherited? According to the article, it can be taught.

Can humor be taught, or is it an inherited trait like left-handedness and green eyes? While some children seem to be born with a bubbly, good-natured disposition, developmental psychologists say humor can be taught. Think of it as a muscle (one no doubt near the funny bone) that needs to be strengthened and worked regularly.

The article has something for parents whose kids are at any stage of development, and ends with a list of 7 things to do with your kids to crack ‘em up. Most of them are pretty self evident (watch funny movies, or read funny books). But the first one is a cracker of a suggestion: Celebrate silly holidays. I’m already preparing for “National Tell a Joke Day” on August 16th, followed by “Talk Like a Pirate Day” on September 19th.

Video by The Onion – For Kids by Kids

The Onion rocks. And now that they have added video, they’ve turned up the volume to 11.

Gap Unveils New ‘For Kids By Kids’ Clothing Line

Falling asleep in front of the tv can be dangerous to your child

2 nights ago, I put The Girl to bed at 8 and, as is sometimes the case, I fell asleep beside her. I woke up in her room 3 hours later, tried to go down to my bedroom and fall back asleep.

No luck. I was wide awake.

After tossing and turning for an hour, I grabbed my pillow, hopped down to the living room couch, and flicked on the TV just in time to catch the start of that family friendly flick Scarface.

Sweet.

I made it to the chainsaw scene before I was sawing zzzzz’s on the couch.

Next thing I know, I hear a very groggy voice saying “Daddy?” I open my eyes to see the Girl standing in the living room, just as Tony Montana is cutting to the chase and introducing his “little friend” to the entire Columbian drug cartel. There is my girl, my innocent precious 3 year old who we have been shielding from the nastiness of the world, catching Tony Montana in full over the top ultra-violence glory, mowing down Colombians, screaming “Fug you mang. FUG YOU!” at the top of his lungs over and over again. Blood squirting, bullets flying. General mayhem.

I scramble for the remote sitting on the coffee table and manage to turn off the tv before The Girl really clues in to what is happening on screen. I get, up, walk her back up to her bedroom and tuck her in. A few minutes later she is fast asleep, and I am left back awake, wondering what kind of psychological damage might have just done to my 3 year old. It keeps me awake. I can’t get back to sleep. It’s 3 am.

Hmmmm, I wonder what’s on tv?

Mom My Ride

Entertainment for some, real life for others.

Toddler Accidentally Shoots His Dad

Toddler Accidentally Shoots His Dad. Apparently the 4 year old was pissed that his Dad served him his milk in a green sippy cup and not an orange sippy cup.

The Top 8 Signs Jesus Was a Dad

You may have heard that James Cameron (of Titanic fame) claims to have discovered the lost tomb of Jesus, and that one of the caskets even bears the title, “Judah, son of Jesus,” hinting that Jesus may have had a son.

With that context in mind, List Dad over at Top Five Parenting has come up with the top 8 signs that Jesus was a Dad. A nice chuckle to kickoff the weekend.

How to scare the crap out of your kids

Scaryclown

In the middle of the night sneak into their room and plop this puppy on their nightside table.

My wife found this on a local buy and sell site. I cannot believe that the people who are selling this monstrosity describe it as a “cute bean bag clown with fuzzy hair”. Yeah, cute like a knife wielding psychopathic Stephen King character.

If only it were this easy…

After waiting my entire life for it, the science fiction promises of a wonderful world where food comes in pills and happiness is dispensed in a refreshing mist spray are finally coming true!

When you’re just about at the end of your rope, spritz yourself a dose of California Baby Mommy and Daddy Overtired and Cranky Spray mood lifter and breathe a sigh of relief as the tension dissipates.

Hmmmm, wonder if it’s strong enough to wind down a three year old? Maybe I’ll try spraying it in the cats face first to see if it calms him down.