Tag Archives: Silly

Thousands expected to protest culling of the toys

Thousands of angry elves are expected to descend on a small British Columbia city this weekend to protest the annual culling of the toys.

“It’s barbaric,” says Jolly Happy, head of the Society Against Nasty Toy Abuse (S.A.N.T.A.). “The father of this family is about to commit toyicide and we must stop him.”

“There’s just too damn many toys in our house,” says the beleaguered father. “With Christmas and 2 birthdays within the span of 5 weeks, we’re overrun with Dora, Strawberry Shortcake and Tinkerbell crap. We have to get rid of some.”

“I’m not sure why they (S.A.N.T.A.) are so pissed anyway,” says the father. “The vast majority of these toys will find a better home in second hand stores and charities.”

Despite the humane assurances, worldwide reaction to the planned toy cull has been swift.

“He better leave the Lego alone,” says the Danish Toy Council.

In Sweden economic sanctions are planned against Canada should the toy cull result in the premature death of toys created or purchased at Ikea.

And in Brazil, the Brazilian government has offered amnesty to all soccer related toys and equipment, a sentiment supported by the government of Italy.

However, the father plans to proceed despite the international outrage. “I don’t care. I’ve done my last middle of the night step on some stupid stuffed squelchy animal. Look out, Little People, I’m cleaning house!”

The cull is planned for Sunday.

Moving from 2 to 3 kids requires a change in strategy

No, it’s not us planning a third. I ran into a friend on the weekend who has just gone from 2 to 3 kids. When I asked him how it was he came back with a great sports metaphor. “It’s like basketball,’ he said. “We’ve moved from man to man to zone coverage.”

How to survive a zombie attack

Watch out for those pesky flaming zombies.

Happy Halloween! (and thanks Alec for the lead).

That’s mighty cute giardia

giardia from Warehouse 23And then there is Warehouse 23. If you’ve got a bit of a bent sense of humor, check out their selection of stuffies. I quite like their germ section. Nothing like snuggling up with giardia (left), mad cow disease or a stomach ache, although cuddling up with a KISS doll might be pretty cool, too. Not to mention a Monty Python classic: the Black Beast of Aaaarrrggghhhh from “In Search of the Holy Grail”. Your kids probably won’t be getting these from Grandma this Christmas.

Father’s patience, 3, dies in Manhattan

MetroDad makes me howl, and his new post, Obits of 2007 is no exception. It is, indeed, a sad day when the afternoon naps disappear.

Now, when will that damn Delilah song be added to that list?

Cultivating a sense of humor in your kids

BabyCentre has just posted a great article called How to raise a fun and funny child. One of the points of the article that struck me harkens back to that very basic nature/nurture theory. Can humor be taught, or is it inherited? According to the article, it can be taught.

Can humor be taught, or is it an inherited trait like left-handedness and green eyes? While some children seem to be born with a bubbly, good-natured disposition, developmental psychologists say humor can be taught. Think of it as a muscle (one no doubt near the funny bone) that needs to be strengthened and worked regularly.

The article has something for parents whose kids are at any stage of development, and ends with a list of 7 things to do with your kids to crack ’em up. Most of them are pretty self evident (watch funny movies, or read funny books). But the first one is a cracker of a suggestion: Celebrate silly holidays. I’m already preparing for “National Tell a Joke Day” on August 16th, followed by “Talk Like a Pirate Day” on September 19th.

Video by The Onion – For Kids by Kids

The Onion rocks. And now that they have added video, they’ve turned up the volume to 11.

Gap Unveils New ‘For Kids By Kids’ Clothing Line

Falling asleep in front of the tv can be dangerous to your child

2 nights ago, I put The Girl to bed at 8 and, as is sometimes the case, I fell asleep beside her. I woke up in her room 3 hours later, tried to go down to my bedroom and fall back asleep.

No luck. I was wide awake.

After tossing and turning for an hour, I grabbed my pillow, hopped down to the living room couch, and flicked on the TV just in time to catch the start of that family friendly flick Scarface.

Sweet.

I made it to the chainsaw scene before I was sawing zzzzz’s on the couch.

Next thing I know, I hear a very groggy voice saying “Daddy?” I open my eyes to see the Girl standing in the living room, just as Tony Montana is cutting to the chase and introducing his “little friend” to the entire Columbian drug cartel. There is my girl, my innocent precious 3 year old who we have been shielding from the nastiness of the world, catching Tony Montana in full over the top ultra-violence glory, mowing down Colombians, screaming “Fug you mang. FUG YOU!” at the top of his lungs over and over again. Blood squirting, bullets flying. General mayhem.

I scramble for the remote sitting on the coffee table and manage to turn off the tv before The Girl really clues in to what is happening on screen. I get, up, walk her back up to her bedroom and tuck her in. A few minutes later she is fast asleep, and I am left back awake, wondering what kind of psychological damage might have just done to my 3 year old. It keeps me awake. I can’t get back to sleep. It’s 3 am.

Hmmmm, I wonder what’s on tv?

Mom My Ride

Entertainment for some, real life for others.

The Boy and his B.F.F.

At just over 4 months old, The Boy has mastered a killer smile. And he likes to share that smile with 2 of his best friends; Ceiling Fan and Shower Curtain.

Both friendships have different dynamics and we can’t figure out who he likes more.

Ceiling Fan is the type of friend where words don’t have to be exchanged in order to keep the relationship strong. Silence is okay. The Boy can sit in his bouncy chair for long periods of time, look with admiration at Ceiling Fan and just enjoy his company, tossing him the occasional smile as he does his slow, circular whoosh whoosh dance.

Shower Curtain, on the other hand, tends to bring out the chatterbox in The Boy. Theirs is a much more lively and dynamic relationship. After his daily bath, he loves to lie on the bathroom mat and share stories and laughter with his bud Shower Curtain while we go about his nightly routine.

The Boy comes by his friendship with intimate objects naturally. His big sister went through a similar phase at this age with her friends Bookshelf and Bedroom Light (a bright kid who could really turn it on). And I predict that someday soon The Boy will, like his big sister, move beyond his very first best friends. The world outside, with it’s bounty of sexy, new friends like Teeter Totter, Monkey Bars and Swing will test the strength of his friendship with Shower Curtain and Ceiling Fan. But for now, he is happy in his world with his number one peeps, Ceiling Fan and Shower Curtain.